BEYOND THE BARS

In the era of liplocking and hooking up every night, he kissed on my forehead and wiped my tears. He held my hand and looked firmly into my eyes. I could see a firm determination in his eyes, never to leave me alone. His love was undefined for me but I could feel its presence, a warm, strong but gentle presence. I knew he would never hurt me, that feeling was intuitive. His shoulders were my pillars of strength and his smile my hope. Maybe I was living in a cage but I was happy to look at him from my cage. Just the problem was, he was trying to break the irons of my cage while I stood in front of him, hiding the key of my cage behind my back. My tears were repentance of what I was doing to him. Breaking and destroying him slowly and gradually. I tried my best to resist my heart from falling again because I had once earlier fallen down and since then, I feared every fresh wound because I felt it would reopen the old ones. But he was persistent. Knowingly or unknowingly, he always caught me whenever I fell. And it was magical because I was still inside the cage and he was outside. And one day, I took out my key. With fearful strides, I reached the locked gate of my cage. As I touched the lock, my ears started bleeding. Immense amount of screams filled my cage. And it was only me who could hear those screams. I quickly held back my hand and the scream died. I touched my ears and the blood had dried. I fearfully looked at the lock and then glanced at the key. Will I be able to unlock my cage? I had to make a decision. I closed my eyes and stood still, with null emotions. I imagined a world outside my cage, where he wasn't there. Beads of sweat started decorating my face and emotions of misery filled in. Who would hold me magically when I fall the next time? Who would wipe those tears of repentance? And most importantly, who would still try to break the cage, just for me, just to free me? Nobody answered. And I got my answer as nobody was there. I was ready to afflict myself with fresh wounds just in hope of recovering faster in his arms. I was ready to break those shackles, rather, I am ready. I slowly walk towards the lock and my hands were shaking while holding the key. With some negligible fear, I closed my eyes and opened my ears, ready to hear those nightmarish screams again. I inserted the key into the lock and my ears bleed again. I feel immeasurable pain but this time, the pain of losing him is even more immeasurable. CLICK. The lock finally opens after a bloody struggle. The gate opens creakily and I look at the world, this time no iron bars blocking my view. The world looked beautiful without those bars. I look left and right, afraid to take a step outside but I promise myself never to look behind. I see him, sitting under a tree, looking at a pair of birds playing with each other in the lush meadow. I take the first step and it feels as if I got renewed. He hears my footsteps and looks at me. A smile creases on his lips and he gets up and starts walking towards me. As he walks, his arms gradually open more and more and finally when he comes up to me, the space between his arms is large. Large enough to fill in the love back which he deserves since a long time. And I will return that love to him. I wrap myself in his delicate but strong arms, his shoulders are my pillars of faith and patience, his eyes the truest mirror and his lips the most comfortable place in this world. And he kisses me on my forehead as we embrace, this time no bars, no cage between us.